It Just Seemed Like The Right Thing To Do And It Made Us Even Closer Friends.
Many divorced or separated men, I’m sure, would love to give their ex’s away. Although I’m sure it would be to something they wanted no part of.
For me though, it was an honour to lead mine down the aisle and hand her off to the man she was about to wed.
I didn’t even make him sign a contract agreeing not to send her back.
Marriages Can End, True Friendship Never Does.
Twenty plus years ago, the two of us stood before a Justice Of The Peace in a small claims court room and said our vows to each other. It was a small ceremony with a handful of friends, which is what we wanted after doing the big fancy wedding with our first marriages.
It also happend to be all we could afford as well. Lisa was 3 months pregnant with our first daughter Maddy and although we had planned on getting married, we bumped up the date a bit so it could happen before she was born.
Times were tight then, to the point that she had to be very careful during the ceremony and the dinner to not spill anything on her dress as we had to return it since we couldn’t afford to keep it. We still joke about it to this day.
We started from humble beginnings, but found our way, focusing on improving our lives, giving shelter to a gazillion dogs, cats, horses…..etc, and raising a family which had become four after our daughter Brooklyn was born.
Life has it’s trials and tribulations, for all of us, we went through ours, we had bad times, times when we hated each other, but more times when we didn’t. Although we eventually grew apart in our marriage, we had a strong core friendship and we both immensely loved our daughters. That combination allowed us to put aside the marriage and any animosity from it and instead become like family and to this day now I care for her like I would one of my sisters.
That Was Then, This Is Now.
Fast forward a few years…., we moved to England, well Lisa and my daughters went first as our house didn’t sell right away. It was a tough go, but I eventually got there and was indeed impressed on how the three of them had persevered and settled into the little village of Kingbridge, a lovely part of South Devon where the views are grand and the people too!
Eventually Lisa met and formed a relationship with her now husband Craig. At first she was worried to introduce me as this was her first relationship since arriving and nervous that the girls and I might not like him. It took only a few minutes to see that he was a great guy and that she obviously cared for him.
Within a short time he was adopted into our family unit and things have been great. He is a good friend to our daughters who are now grown and dotes on Lisa constantly.
After the two of them became engaged, I joked with her that I should walk her down the aisle. She laughed and told me it was a great idea, her dad had never been in her life and she couldn’t think of a better person to do it.
As time went on, I headed back to Canada and to do some more travelling. We kept in constant touch and the date and venue were finally chosen for the wedding. It was to be at Traquair House, the oldest inhabited house in Scotland.
The Fateful Day Arrived.
July 23 rd (2016) eventually rolled around, the weather which threatened rain at first, let up and allowed the ceremony to proceed. It went very well, no one passed out….or wind. Our daughters got to participate as bridesmaids and Craig’s brother and good mate took the groomsman’s role and I was to lead her down the aisle, well path, as it was outside.
It was an extra honour to be able to do a reading during the ceremony, after looking over many that I found online, there were none suitable so I wrote a custom one, something that was from my heart.
The ceremony concluded with Lisa and Craig heading back up the aisle along with the piper.
After a brief time for pictures and socializing, we made our way into the main house for the meal. The staff at Traquair was amazing and very accommodating and a good time was had by all.
But there was one last surprise for me. I was asked to give a toast to the bride. Really what ex husband could resist embarrassing his ex wife in front of everyone and get away with it.
It was a great day and evening all around, not only was I happy to be at the ceremony, but was honoured to be involved. I’m glad we are such good friends and that we can all just get along.
Another bonus was that I got to see a part of Scotland and it was definitely magnificent. As an outsider I was welcomed into Craig’s family and his group of friends who were all lovely people and hope to see again.
Was even made an honorary member of the Minehoff Motorcycle Club by my new mates Ian, Jim and Jim.
Do you get along with your ex? Many people wonder how we do it. At the end of the day, I know not everyone can. It depends on the reasons for the break up. However, if you are able to put your differences aside, especially if you have a family, then do it. Let any animosity go and get on with it and everyone will enjoy their lives so much more.
It’s too short to be miserable.